Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called hisfirst witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
Heapproached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on yourwife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You thinkyou're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never willamount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I knowyou."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since hewas a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can'tbuild a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one ofthe worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with threedifferent women. One of them wasyour wife. Yes I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quietvoice said: "If eitherof you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electricchair."