Funny code comments

//

// Dear maintainer:

//

// Once you are done trying to ‘optimize’ this routine,

// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,

// please increment the following counter as a warning

// to the next guy:

//

// total_hours_wasted_here = 16

//

 

Me: “[Company] tech support, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’ve got a problem. Your program is telling me to get a pet snake. I don’t want one.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “It’s giving me a message telling me I need a snake to run it.”

Me: “Read the message to me please.”

Caller: “Error: Python required to run script.”

 

 

#define TRUE FALSE //Happy debugging suckers

 

return 1; # returns 1

 

long john; // silver

 

Exception up = new Exception(“Something is really wrong.”);

throw up;  //ha ha

 

// somedev1 –  6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Login screen

// somedev2 –  5/22/07 Temporary my ass

Blonde mortician

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

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Braai Etiket

FOKUS MENSE, FOKUS!

1. Doen so bietjie moeite met jou aankoop van jou vleis. ‘n Braai is ‘n ernstige ding, benader dus jou aankope ook so. In die ou dae was jou slagter amper familie. Jy het hom immers meer gesien as jou dokter.

Deesdae is dinge soveel makliker en onpersoonlik. Rakke het gesigte vervang met die gevolg dat die jonger geslag onbekend geraak het oor wat nou eintlik goeie vleis is. As ‘n ding goed verpak is dan lyk hy mos gaaf genoeg om te braai. Kak man! So, as jy nie vleis ken nie, vra
jou slagter.

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