Bruce wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The Doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but you were involved in a huge pile-up on the freeway." "You're going to be OK, you'll walk again."
"But something unfortunate happened. Your penis was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."
Bruce is horror stricken.
"Now, you've got about $9000 in compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did……better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
Bruce perks up.
"Now," the Dr added, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But you'd better discuss with your wife. For instance if you had a five incher before and want a nine incher, she might be a bit put out.
But if you had a nine incher and decide only to invest in a five incher she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
Bruce agrees to talk with his wife.
The Doctor returns the next day. "So" says the Doctor, "Have you spoken with your wife?
"Yep. I have." says Bruce.
"And has she helped you in making this important decision?"
"Yep" says Bruce.
"And what is it?" asks the Doctor. . .
"We're getting a new kitchen."