Rugby World Cup Rules for Women


 1. >From 7 Sep to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports section of
 the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the
 World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations.
 If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you
 will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any
 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD are all
 mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse
 of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
 mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
 me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put
 clothes on right after because if you catch something in the eye or a 
 I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the 
World Cup month.

 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
 refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
 expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick
 up the baby that just fell from the second floor….it won't happen.

 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
 fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
 please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
 watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between
 12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the

 6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams
 is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, it's only a game', or 'don't worry,
 they'll win next time'. If you say these things, you will only make me
 angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
 more about rugby than me and your so called 'words of encouragement'
 will only lead to a break up or divorce.

 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to
 me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
 halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying
 'one' game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to
 'spend time together'.

 8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if I have
 seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times,
 and record them.

 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
 parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
 a) I will not go,
 b) I will not go, and
 c) I will not go.

 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch 
 game, we will be there in a flash.

 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
 important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying 'but
 you have already seen this…why don't you change the channel to
 something we can all watch??', the reply will be: 'Refer to Rule #2 of
 this list'.

 12. Please save your expressions such as 'Thank goodness the World Cup
 is only every 4 years'. I am immune to these words, because after this
 comes the reruns of the Rugby World Cup, the TWENTY TWENTY WORLD CUP etc etc.

 13. And finally, if you are female and your "man" likes rugby less than
 you, he is not a real man and shall be bound by these rules and
 additionally be referred to as "the bitch" for the duration of the World 
 Thank you for your cooperation.


 Men of the world

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