The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment – Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Michael said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the
eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said,
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Ashleigh, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunty Karen.
Aunty Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle
of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of
them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she
killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she
killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f**k away from Aunty Karen when she's been drinking."