Blonde mortician

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

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Charity work

Some time last year I was approached by a friend of mine, who had just started a charity, for some help on a website.  At that point they had nothing, but needed to get a portal out to the world to showcase their work.  Normally I would not just give something, because I believe that a lot of people take advantage of charity, and become lazy.  The proof is standing at just about every traffic light in Joburg.

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Condom shortage in New Zealand

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zealand, is rudely awoken at 4 am by the telephone.

'Helen, it's the Health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Auckland has burned to the ground. It is estimated the entire New Zealand supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week.!!!'

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