A bride onher wedding night says to her husband "I must confess darling, Iused to be a hooker". He says "That's alright dear, your pastis your past, but I must admit I find it very erotic, tell me more." The wife says "Well, my name was Koos and I played for the Bulls."
I've been very quiet about the subject, even though my sport of choice has been the one in the spotlight because of it for the last few years.
After reading this article I have a few things to say.
Even though cycling has been by far the worst looking as far as doping goes in the last few years, I'm of the opinion that it is also the sport code that is doing the most to get rid of the problem. And unfortunately it is getting the bad publicity because it perceived to be getting more positive tests than any other code. Of course if the other codes started doing as many tests as cycling does things would probably look different. But, name one other code that goes as far as cycling. Just looking at the Tour, 800 tests on 189 athletes in 20 days. That is ridiculous, the riders must start to look like hardcore users with all those puncture marks.
Then you have a lot of the other codes, and to name a few, like cricket, baseball, american football, shall I go on? They all seem to sweep the problem under the carpet and the athletes get away with a small fine or short ban, but they keep it quiet enough so that no-one really knows what is going on.
As far as testing goes, I'm still convinced that it is done the wrong way around. Don't look for things that shouldn't be there but is. Rather look for things that should be there but isn't. A lot of the masking agents out there actually remove proteins that should be there as well. So if you find something that should be there and it isn't, you get an automatic positive test.
This way the athletes would be able to establish a baseline for themselves over a period of testing, and could therefore be easier to prove that they are clean. On the flip-side, it is also easier to test for an unknown drug like mentioned in the article.
As far as guys stating categorically that they've never tested positive…I'm starting to think that you're hiding something with your choice of words. Rather state that you've never used any performance enhancing product or method, to your knowledge. That is more believable, and still clears you for the time that your doctor makes a mistake when giving you flu medication, which happens.
It is getting particularly difficult to go to the doctor these days, because I insist that he does not give me any medication with any type of banned substance, even if the cycling unions allow it with doctor's clearance. So quite a few times I've walked out of his office with no medication, and just have to ride out the illness. Obviously this is not a choice I would make for anything life threatening, it is quite an easy choice for flu or allergies, and I've found that medication actually makes those types of ailments take longer to heal. I've asked my doctor what benefit I would get out of any of the medication he's not allowed to prescribe, and he stated that with the volumes involved, none. But unfortunately, tests cannot tell what the maximum level was in your body, and can only tell what the level is at the time of testing.
With the money involved, I don't think the problem will ever go away, but we can only hope that our heroes are clean…and stay that way.
Don't know if there should be a "Jokes" tag on this one
Q. What do Mark Boucher and Michael Jackson have incommon?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is South Africa's best chance of a winat Kingsmead?
A. Telling the other team the match is at the Wanderers.
Q. How bad is the South African batting?
A. Well, the selectors are thinking of moving Extras up the batting order.
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the main function of the South African coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What do you call a South African with 50 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith?
A. His walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.
Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African
touring party?
A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.
Om hangovers tefight is actually heelwat makliker as wat mens sou dink. Daar's gewoonlikeen goue reël wat feitlik altyd effektief is.
Moenie drink nie.
Die probleme ontstaan as mens die rëel 'n fokken vetignore kap.
Moeilikheid.
Dus, as jy per abuis reël een oortree, verwys dadelik na reël twee.
Moenie te veel drink nie.
Een word twee, al die ure word happy, lelik word mooi,en twee word een (partykeer sommer op die agterseat).
Steeds is als nie verlore nie.
In tye van transgressie, verwys spoedig na reel drie.
Moenie jou drankies meng nie.
Check alle drankies gaan eventually na dieselfde plektoe, maar net soos in 'n bar meen dit nie altyd almal smaak mekaar nie.
Inteendeel, jy sal vind dis presies hierdie tipemengelmoes wat gaan maak dat jy suffer
Sit neer daai shooter, cowboy.
Teen die tyd dat jy reel drie oortree het is jy klaargefok. Sonder om eers jou broek af te trek.
Dan ewe skielik is dit twee-uur, jy vreet 'n Garage pie oppad huis toe,
en worry oor die moontlikheid van 'n evil hangovertjie wat dalk onder joubed vir jou wag.
Slaap soveel as wat jy kan .
Fokken wil mos.
Lekker rëels breek.
Lekker breker.
Wie's nou smart?
Ouens wat hier uitkom het obviously nie gefokken luister nie en sit nou metdie full-blown, fokken hangover.
Nou moet jy maar slaap pel, en baie ook.
Nog bietjie. Daa'sy.
Trek hom bersie oor hom koppie.
Suip baie water.
Party Moegoes reken sommer die aand wat jy van die jol afkom.
Maar dis bietjie moeilik as jy ingedra word en wakker word met Kots opjou hemp.
Kry vir jou 'n lekker laaang beker water en drink daarvan soveel en sovinnig as wat jy kan.
Kom, jy't mos gewys jy kanbaie drink.
Jy's mos die fokken mek van die plek.
Sluk! Sommer vier Grandpa's ôk.
Eet iets.
Op die stadium is jou lyf hoogs die bliksem in vir jou.
Jy het nie mooi gemaak met jou lyf nie.
Uh-uh. Nou moet daar fokken mooi broodjies gebak word, en een ding wat joulyf verstaan is eetbare bederfies.
As jy rerig wil fokken brownie punte score, skiet vir iets gesonds – even'n slaaitjie. As jou lyf kon het hy/sy jou op die rug geklop.
Party ouens reken mens moet 'n rou eier eet. Al waarvoordit werk is om jou te laat verder kots, en as jy gelukkig is nog salmonella ookte kry. Fokken smart Parra!, nou't jy salmonella en 'nhang-over.
Dom Doos.
Vat 'n shower of 'n bad.
Nou hierdie rëel help beide vir jou asook die mensegeaffekteer deur jou second-hand hangover ..
D.w.s. die arme swape wat jou asem en stink holtes ruik na die aand uit.
Voel bietjie daai wol oor jou tanne?
Hoe dink jy ruik dit vir ander?
Presies.
Hou op 'n aap wees en vat 'n stort.
Trek iets gemaklik aan.
Official hangover wear is pejaamies of sommer 'n ousweetpak met Stou-kies en 'n T-shirt.
Jy wil nie deal met goed wat jou skaaf of knoppe platdruk nie.
Sag en lelik is die wagwoorde hier.
Vat dit rustig.
Drop die blinds, kry 'n bottel Coke, bietjie Nando's enloop rent 'n DVD of twee .
Skuif nou voor die TV in met die remote en relax.
Dit gaan 'n fokken laaaang dag wees.
The are only two ways to handle tense situations: youcan change them, or you can change the way you look at them. There isenlightenment to be had in changing the way you look at things.
The Little Book Of Calm by Paul Wilson (1996)
Sometime last year I bought a second hand eMac for R500, thinking it was about time that I started learning non-Microsoft products. The machine was great and for the first few months everything ran great and I learnt quite a bit about Mac OS X 9.x. The same person then gave me an iMac that was taking up needed space in his garage. I got the iMac home, tried to switch it on, but it was dead, and clearly not serviceable by mere mortals. So that got tossed, but I kept the software that came with it seeing the eMac had nothing.
I noticed that the iMac's software package included an upgrade disc for OS X 10.1 (Jaguar I think), and the tinkerer in me woke up immediately. I had to give this a try, see what changed. I booted with the disc, went through the process and made my first mistake on step 1. Where you choose the partition on which to install, you also have the option to clear it out. Guess what, that was the first thing I did, happily continued with my installation, only to be told, sorry for you, there's no prior version of OS X on this drive, cannot install.
No problem I thought, just boot up with the iMac's install disk for version 9.2, install that and then do the upgrade. Only the iMac's disk would not boot on the eMac. No I had a nice big white doorstop on my hands.
Plan B was to get a copy of Tiger and install that, but the importer & distributors of Apple products in SA had another plan for me. Since there is supposed to be an upgrade released in October, they thought it would be wise to stop importing and stocking any copies at the end of 2006. So every shop I went to had the family pack in stock, but no single licenses. I only have one machine capable of running OS X, so why the hell would I pay double the price for 3 licenses. Still had a big white doorstop on my hands.
Fast forward a few months, I take delivery of a set of Ubuntu disks, some non-microsoft technology I can learn on a machine that is serviceable by mortals. But lo and behold, included in the package there's an Ubuntu disk "For your Mac". Had to try this. So I fired up my big white doorstop, had to eject the CD drive with a paperclip because the eject button on the keyboard did not work witouh any OS installed, and booted up with the CD. Now the install I did on a VPC worked fine first time, and looked to be working fine on the Mac. Until it started loading X to get to the installation icons. X did not like the eMac and failed with a particularly ugly error message, I can't quite remember the wording.
Time for some serious googling.
I found a few articles on installing Ubuntu on the eMac, but none of the advice worked, until I downloaded the alternative ISO mentioned in this article.
Ripped it to cd, booted the doorstop, and have never seen an easier installation. After selecting a few basic options like language and machine name, the install did the rest, and I now have a working eMac again, although not with the intended OS.
Me and Leigh-Ann got married on the 31st of August. In case you are wondering why so soon after the engagement…read on.
I decided to ask her on our holiday overseas, but when we realised that we'll need to arrange our wedding around the availibilty of family members, who we definitely wanted at the wedding, we started arranging the wedding, but I was not willing to change my plans for the proposal, so things seemed a bit ass about face, but worked out perfectly.
The venue we used was absolutely stunning, Oakfield Farm in Muldersdrift, and the service they gave us was awesome to say the least. I can recommend them.
I let Leigh do most of the arrangements, and must say that it was the right decision. Everything was planned to the T and worked out perfect. Thanks Love.
We went to Plett for a few days for our honeymoon. I was reminded just how beautiful it is on that part of the country, I haven't been down there for about 6 years. I'll move to Nature's Valley in a blink if I had the opportunity. Photos to follow soon.