Etiket met Afrikaanse Sangers

Hoe om korrek op te tree wanneer jy jou gunsteling Afrikaanse ster ontmoet:

Indien u Jurie Els raakloop, sal u hom dadelik herken. Hy sal langs 'n afgetrede atletiese figuur loop. Onthou, Jurie sal die korter, gegrimeerde een wees van die twee. Hy hang gewoonlik by vlooimarkte en supermarkte rond, veral waar daar jong seuns is.  Hy hakkel blykbaar van bef0ktgeid as jy hom aanspreek as SA se eie Supermark sanger. Hy is laas gesien in Aukland met 'n T Hemp wat sê:" Wie's jou f0kken Oom"

Wees taktvol wanneer u die sangeres Juanita du Plessis ontmoet. Sy is wel 'n gewilde Afrikaanse ster, maar het nog nie die taal onder die knie nie.  Gebruik klanke soos yoi-yoi en patti-patti indien u met haar wil kommunikeer.

Die jong talent Nadine sal aanstoot vind, indien u haar vra "Wanneer hou jy op?". Onthou, swak smaak verskil.

Indien u ons eie "loslappie" Kurt Darren ontmoet, kan dit tot ongemaklikheid lei indien u te lank staar na sy gesig. Vergewis uself van die feit dan sommige manne ook partykeer grimering dra.

As u Johan Stemmet raakloop, komplimenteer hom omdat hy baie lanklaas 'n musiek-CD vrygestel het. Die kleurvolle onderbaadjie wat hy aanhet, veral in lewende lywe, mag aanleiding gee tot braking, maar dit is ongeskik om dit voor hom te doen. Doen dit liewer binnemonds. Indien u sukkel, oefen solank deur aanhoudend na die liedjie "Pappa se dogtertjie" te luister.

Indien u 'n ongetroude man is tussen twintig en vier-en-tagtig, sal ek aanraai om liewer nie die geselskap van Sunette Bridges op te soek nie.Geen ordentelike, Calvinistiese man moet tot sulke laagtes daal nie.

Wanneer u die gewilde minnesanger Dozi raaksien, kyk op… anders sal hy jou nie sien nie. Maak seker u spreek die "z" korrek uit. Dit is slegte smaak om hom uit te vra oor hoekom sy asem so stink.

Indien u Steve Hofmeyr raakloop, moenie vra vir 'n acapella weergawe van sy treffer "Pampoen" nie – hy mag dit dalk net doen. Indien u tussen die ouderdom van tien en vyf-en-twintig is, mag Steve aanstoot neem indien u vra vir 'n speekselmonster aangesien u dink "hy is jou pappa". As jy 'n gym instrukteur of 'n joernalis is, vermy hom.

Indien u die opkomende talent Robbie Klay ontmoet, vlei hom dat hy sy "mullet" afgesny het. Dit is nie baie goeie smaak om vir iemand onder die ouderdom van twintig te vra hoeveel ongehude kinders hy het nie.  Moet hom ook nie vra wie sy "Oom" is nie of hoeveel Huisgenoot hom per uitgawe betaal nie.

Dit is uiters ongemanierd om in gesprek met die operaster Manuel Escorsio, die woorde ""Porra" en "Is dit jou kafeedaai?" te gebruik.

Indien u die Groep 2 sanger en Wielie Walie aanbieder Gert van Tonder raakloop, sal dit onvanpas wees om te vra of hy enigiets te doen gehad het met die gay kouse wat so in en uit die kas was op die stel van Wielie Walie.  Gert was net 'n aanbieder van die program en ek weet ook nie of hy nog leef nie.

Indien u die immergewilde Anneli van Rooyen ontmoet, moenie woordspelings maak oor haar "Eerste liefde" nie. Mense bly ongehuud vir verskeie redes.

Dit is uiters swak smaak (en mag dalk tot 'n blouoog lei) indien u die sangeres Amore Vittone-Van der Westhuizen vra of sy net kinders kry om in die kollig te bly. Net omdat u dink dat sy 'n betwyfelbare sangtalent het, beteken dit nie dat u haar so mag beledig of, in haar geval, bemoedig nie.

Dit sal onvanpas wees om vir Andre Schwartz te vra of hy mense verkies soos in sy musiekvideo "Ek wil jou nooit weer sien" – manne geklee in vrouedrag.

Dit sal onbeskof wees om, in geselskap met Theuns Jordaan, te verwys na sy stem as 'n "brul van 'n lesbiese leeu". Lesbiese leeus kan nie brul nie.

Rina Hugo sal nie geamuseerd wees indien u haar vra: "Is daai mal spinnekop agter die perkussiestel van Noot vir Noot jou kind?" en "Ek wonder hoe hy daar gekom het?". Wees taktvol en bly maar liewer stil.  Wees bly dat u nie so 'n kind het nie.

Moet ook nie vir Riaan Cruywagen vra wie sy haarkapper is nie. 

Freddi Nest raak blykbaar hoogs die d0nner in as jy vir hom vra:  "Jy het nou die kitaar, waneer begin jy sing?" of "die liedjie,jy's my Na Na Na, wat dit f0k beteken dit?" of "kry jy nie warm met daai leerbaadjie nie?"

Garmin, educate your vendors

I've helped two people in the last year to update the firmware on their Garmin units.  It is a fairly simple procedure, and it is FREE.  But in both cases that is not what the stores where the bought the units told them.  Both stores, different ones, tried to sell them new map software, which would not help to fix the issues they were experiencing, but on which the store would make a big profit.

Surely these sales people should have the training and INTEGRITY to help Garmin's clients, and if not, why are they still agents? 

Deepest Fear

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we areinadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is ourlight, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I tobe brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There isnothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure aroundyou. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's notjust in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, weunconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberatedfrom our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

– Maryanne Williamson –

 

Paul vs Heather

It's a very sad worldwe live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes  about her false leg. Personally, I think it'sprosthetics.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from  his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said tobe  distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"!She  said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened,  I'm reallystumped"                                                       
                                                                           
 "She's running around in circles", according to a closefriend,  "she will need all the support she can get. It's not likeits  easy to walk out on a relationship likethis"
                                                                           
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it  ifwe  called  herHeather.                                                              
                                                                           
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior tothe  marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, andif  an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a legto  standon.                                                                                                                       
Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelitymay  have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated,"always trying to  get her legover".                                                        
                                                                           
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism wasthe  cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said,"he would get  home at night and find her legless"                                       
                                                                           
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with thepresent  that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a newprosthetic  leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.                    
                                                                           
A miner in Africa has an accident andloses a leg. He says to his mate  "I'm f—ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His matesays "try  PaulMcCartney"                                                           
                                                                           
Finally a poem by Sir PaulMcCartney:                                    
                                                                           
I lay upon a grassybank                                                  
My hands were all aquiver                                                
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in theriver         
                                                                           
And                                                                       
                                                                           
She Stood on the bridge atMidnight                                       
Her lips were all aquiver                                                
She gave a cough, her leg felloff                                        
And floated down theriver.                                               
                                                                           
These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Nowshe  has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.

Sounds quite kinky

I received the following sentence in a document from a vendor, quite a well known company as well.  

"The … system poles the staging area to see ifany changes are received"

Moral of the story, get someone else to proofread your documents before sending them to your client, Word's spell-check does not pick this up.