The right answer

A little girl was sitting in her classroom in Australia when her teacher walked in and started talking about how proud she is to be an Australian, and how wonderful it is to be a Wallaby supporter.

The teacher then asked everyone who supported the Wallabies to put up their hand.

Every hand in the class besides one went up.

This surprised the teacher and so she asked the little girl why her hand wasn't up.

"Well," said the little girl, "because I dont support the Wallabies."

Even more surprised, the teacher asked her who she supported.

"I support the Springboks", she replied.

Now a bit irritated, the teacher asked the little girl why she supported the Springboks.

"My mom supports the Springboks, and my dad supports the Springboks, so I support the Springboks."

The teacher looked at the little girl and with a smirk asked: "Well, if your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be?"

The little girl looked up at her teacher, smiled and replied: "A Wallaby supporter !!"
 

The law is now going against my religion

According to this article on News24, smacking your child is now a criminal offence, punishable by a minimum fine of R300.  I don’t get it.  In my opinion, and as I’ve stated earlier, a good smack on the butt is still the number one ear opener for any child.  I’ve grown up with it, and my kids will grow up with it.  The government is trying to get people to stop abusing and degrading children, and I agree that it has to stop, but they’re going about it in the wrong way.

At this point, the law makes it easy for undisciplined teens to get back at their parents for something they deserved in the first place.

Government needs to change this law urgently!  A parent should not be prosecuted for disciplining their children, unless they are doing it in the wrong way.

And for the offenders that should be prosecuted, a R300 fine is not a deterrent to stop abusing their children, and the children would probably be too scared to report their parents anyway, knowing that the moment the parent gets back from paying the fine, there will be hell to pay.

If someone is abusing a child, the child should be taken away, without the option of getting the child back ever.  That would be more of a deterrent than a small fine.

A confession no-one wants to hear

 

A bride onher wedding night says to her husband  "I must confess darling, Iused to be a hooker".  He says "That's alright dear, your pastis your past, but I must admit I find it very erotic, tell me more." The wife says "Well, my name was Koos and I played for the Bulls."

 

Drugs in sport

I've been very quiet about the subject, even though my sport of choice has been the one in the spotlight because of it for the last few years.

After reading this article I have a few things to say.

Even though cycling has been by far the worst looking as far as doping goes in the last few years, I'm of the opinion that it is also the sport code that is doing the most to get rid of the problem.  And unfortunately it is getting the bad publicity because it perceived to be getting more positive tests than any other code.  Of course if the other codes started doing as many tests as cycling does things would probably look different.  But, name one other code that goes as far as cycling.  Just looking at the Tour, 800 tests on 189 athletes in 20 days.  That is ridiculous, the riders must start to look like hardcore users with all those puncture marks.

Then you have a lot of the other codes, and to name a few, like cricket, baseball, american football, shall I go on?  They all seem to sweep the problem under the carpet and the athletes get away with a small fine or short ban, but they keep it quiet enough so that no-one really knows what is going on. 

As far as testing goes, I'm still convinced that it is done the wrong way around.  Don't look for things that shouldn't be there but is.  Rather look for things that should be there but isn't.  A lot of the masking agents out there actually remove proteins that should be there as well.  So if you find something that should be there and it isn't, you get an automatic positive test.

This way the athletes would be able to establish a baseline for themselves over a period of testing, and could therefore be easier to prove that they are clean.  On the flip-side, it is also easier to test for an unknown drug like mentioned in the article.

As far as guys stating categorically that they've never tested positive…I'm starting to think that you're hiding something with your choice of words.  Rather state that you've never used any performance enhancing product or method, to your knowledge.  That is more believable, and still clears you for the time that your doctor makes a mistake when giving you flu medication, which happens.

It is getting particularly difficult to go to the doctor these days, because I insist that he does not give me any medication with any type of banned substance, even if the cycling unions allow it with doctor's clearance.  So quite a few times I've walked out of his office with no medication, and just have to ride out the illness.  Obviously this is not a choice I would make for anything life threatening, it is quite an easy choice for flu or allergies, and I've found that medication actually makes those types of ailments take longer to heal.  I've asked my doctor what benefit I would get out of any of the medication he's not allowed to prescribe, and he stated that with the volumes involved, none.  But unfortunately, tests cannot tell what the maximum level was in your body, and can only tell what the level is at the time of testing.

With the money involved, I don't think the problem will ever go away, but we can only hope that our heroes are clean…and stay that way.
 

The state of South African Cricket

Don't know if there should be a "Jokes" tag on this one 

 

 

Q. What do Mark Boucher and Michael Jackson have incommon?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q. What is South Africa's best chance of a winat Kingsmead?
A. Telling the other team the match is at the Wanderers.

 Q. How bad is the South African batting?
A. Well, the selectors are thinking of moving Extras up the batting order.
 

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the South African coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.  

Q. What do you call a South African with 50 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith?
A. His walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African
    touring party?
A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.

 

 

 

Hoe om n babelaas beter te maak

Om hangovers tefight is actually heelwat makliker as wat mens sou dink. Daar's gewoonlikeen goue reël wat feitlik altyd effektief is.

Moenie drink nie.

Die probleme ontstaan as mens die rëel 'n fokken vetignore kap.
Moeilikheid.
Dus, as jy per abuis reël een oortree, verwys dadelik na reël twee.

Moenie te veel drink nie.

Een word twee, al die ure word happy, lelik word mooi,en twee word een (partykeer sommer op die agterseat).
Steeds is als nie verlore nie.
In tye van transgressie, verwys spoedig na reel drie.

Moenie jou drankies meng nie.

Check alle drankies gaan eventually na dieselfde plektoe, maar net soos in 'n bar meen dit nie altyd almal smaak mekaar nie.

Inteendeel, jy sal vind dis presies hierdie tipemengelmoes wat gaan maak dat jy suffer

Sit neer daai shooter, cowboy.

Teen die tyd dat jy reel drie oortree het is jy klaargefok. Sonder om eers jou broek af te trek.
Dan ewe skielik is dit twee-uur, jy vreet 'n Garage pie oppad huis toe,
en worry oor die moontlikheid van 'n evil hangovertjie wat dalk onder joubed vir jou wag.

Slaap soveel as wat jy kan .

Fokken wil mos.
Lekker rëels breek.
Lekker breker.
Wie's nou smart?
Ouens wat hier uitkom het obviously nie gefokken luister nie en sit nou metdie full-blown, fokken hangover.
Nou moet jy maar slaap pel, en baie ook.
Nog bietjie. Daa'sy.
Trek hom bersie oor hom koppie.

Suip baie water.

Party Moegoes reken sommer die aand wat jy van die jol afkom.
Maar dis bietjie moeilik as jy ingedra word en wakker word met Kots opjou hemp.
Kry vir jou 'n lekker laaang beker water en drink daarvan soveel en sovinnig as wat jy kan.
Kom, jy't mos gewys jy kanbaie drink.
Jy's mos die fokken mek van die plek.
Sluk! Sommer vier Grandpa's ôk.

Eet iets.

Op die stadium is jou lyf hoogs die bliksem in vir jou.
Jy het nie mooi gemaak met jou lyf nie.
Uh-uh. Nou moet daar fokken mooi broodjies gebak word, en een ding wat joulyf verstaan is eetbare bederfies.
As jy rerig wil fokken brownie punte score, skiet vir iets gesonds – even'n slaaitjie. As jou lyf kon het hy/sy jou op die rug geklop.

Party ouens reken mens moet 'n rou eier eet. Al waarvoordit werk is om jou te laat verder kots, en as jy gelukkig is nog salmonella ookte kry. Fokken smart Parra!, nou't jy salmonella en 'nhang-over.

Dom Doos.

Vat 'n shower of 'n bad.

Nou hierdie rëel help beide vir jou asook die mensegeaffekteer deur jou second-hand hangover ..
D.w.s. die arme swape wat jou asem en stink holtes ruik na die aand uit.
Voel bietjie daai wol oor jou tanne?
Hoe dink jy ruik dit vir ander?
Presies.
Hou op 'n aap wees en vat 'n stort.

Trek iets gemaklik aan.

Official hangover wear is pejaamies of sommer 'n ousweetpak met Stou-kies en 'n T-shirt.
Jy wil nie deal met goed wat jou skaaf of knoppe platdruk nie.
Sag en lelik is die wagwoorde hier.

Vat dit rustig.

Drop die blinds, kry 'n bottel Coke, bietjie Nando's enloop rent 'n DVD of twee .
Skuif nou voor die TV in met die remote en relax.

Dit gaan 'n fokken laaaang dag wees.